He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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