On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
