Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize