So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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