it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
