redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
