How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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