The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
