I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
