Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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