And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
