Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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