Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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