I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize