you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
