This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
