Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
