'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
