If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
