just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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