DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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