oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
