If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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