Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
