I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
