the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
