i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just pynch a tree in the face
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
