They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
