dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
