My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
