I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
