I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
