I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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