Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize