First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
