I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You made out with two different species that night
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we're so committed to being not committed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
