You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
