I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I believe in your delicious
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
