Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
