Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
