I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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