no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize