there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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