just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
