are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
