I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
