i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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