He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
