saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
