it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
