So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
