Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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