if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Come see our sink grown plant.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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