I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
