I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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