Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
