8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
