He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize