It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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