PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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