i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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