just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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