walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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