Its about making memories worth repressing
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
