More tranny stories later!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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