We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
